Just say no to Urban Legends

[Mary Martin]

This is true! Really, I heard it from...

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having
been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and
it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he
realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that
said  "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to
his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would
destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew
it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on
software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around.  And it's a
little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages. His program will
prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute
the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.  (It's
true I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the
e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a
note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks
from the hospital-the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the
one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
receives.  I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in
the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 20 people you will have
good luck but if to 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to
less than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he
noticed another car driving along without its lights on.  To  be helpful, he
flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

STOP THE INSANITY!  NO URBAN LEGEND EMAIL STRINGS IN 1999!