Daily Laugh: them viruses are downright sneaky....

[steinkel]

The final word (it is to be hoped) on Good Times and all its kin.

Enjoy,
Leland




Subject: Re: Important! Read! Good Times Virus Alert!
     
i picked up this important news, and in case you had not already 
heard, i thought you should be made aware of it ;-)
     
- ------- Start of forwarded message -------
     
It turns out that the Goodtimes so-called hoax virus is very dangerous 
after all.
     
Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive.  Not only that, it will 
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.  It will 
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream 
goes melty.  It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, 
screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field 
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
     
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.  It will mix 
Kool-aid into your fishtank.  It will drink all your beer and leave 
dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.  It will put 
a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your 
car keys when you are late for work.
     
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.  It will give you 
nightmares about circus midgets.  It will pour sugar in your gas tank 
and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind 
your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
     
It will seduce your grandmother.  It does not matter if she is dead, 
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to 
sully those things we hold most dear.
     
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. 
It will kick your dog.  It will leave libidinous messages on your 
boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle.  It is 
dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather interesting 
shade of mauve.
     
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave the toilet 
seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and 
then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase 
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
     
Goodtimes will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to 
rise. It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up 
reactionary talk stations at the expense of others. It prevents 
scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which makes 
the net results negative. It cheats at Scrabble.
     
It can forge your signature. It plays the bagpipes in your
basement. It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the hair 
to clog your drain.  It does bad celebrity impersonations in front of 
your friends.